The Hovering Grief

Hover

: to remain in one place in the air

: to remain poised uncertainly in one place or between two states

Oxford Languages Def.

Hummingbirds, as if held by a magical force, can stay suspended in one place as it feeds. This ability to hover is unique, and although they can almost appear still to others, they are moving constantly. In fact the hummingbird is moving its wings at 75-100 beats per second.

Similarly, in grief, others may see us remaining in one place, but for those of us experiencing grief we know that we are in fact in constant (e)motion. As we grieve, we are expending energy in even the smallest tasks as we face a world without our loved one. With each interaction, we are filtering our memories and emotions.

As we live between the hopes of the past and the unknown future, we are expending great energy to focus on that which sustains us. This is the hovering grief.

In this place we are not “stuck”, but instead adapting. Hummingbirds have also had to adapt. Given their constant motion, hummingbirds have had to process the world differently. Their brain neurons have developed so they can see all around them. As we hover in our grief, we too learn to see those around us differently. We now understand other’s pain more and can see the hurting world around us.

“…God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

2 Cor 1: 3-4

In the now, may we have eyes to see the strength we are displaying just by facing the day.

In the future, may this grief be used to give us eyes to see the world around us differently.

And at all times, may we recognize that the God that never changes will care for our needs and give us rest.